So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
you are never too drunk for berry picking
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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