And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
