You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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