So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
