I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
