Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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