Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
