after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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