I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
