Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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