No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
