She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
