She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
