I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
