the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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