I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
