I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
