that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize