Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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