i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
