where does the pee come out of this thing
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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