: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
