If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
