Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It was confusing and full of hummus
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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