YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
