Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
