Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
