Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
