okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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