i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
