Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
