R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize