I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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