plz talk dirty to me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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