She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
