one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
