You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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