ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
