no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
don't judge my taste in strippers
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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