so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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