We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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