We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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