It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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