Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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