I'm eating all of the evidence.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
