Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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