I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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