he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
