That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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