Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
