You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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