i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
