Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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