you guys were way drunker than both of me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize