I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
