I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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