whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
