why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
