i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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