True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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