I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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