Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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